BluePuffin talking, every Friday.: leave me alone

hello, i am bluepuffin, and i love you.

and i want you to know that you are loved. please know.

hello! today im gonna share some insight into today, i guess. today is wednesday, august 13, 2025. family members are inhabiting the room i'm in, far past the time i would have liked to have them here. to be honest, since it's 10:05pm, i just hope they went to their own houses and put theirselves to sleep. thankfully, the laptop's back is concealing my dad from seeing what I’m writing. i'm mad right now, but i don’t want to hurt people, so i don't fake being happy and smile and laugh, but i don’t yell nor shout at them either. im tired, i guess, and maybe that's what's making every single noise i hear so irritable.

i dont like how people always expect us to do stuff. at the astounding discovery that i wouldn't go on a walk tonight, my aunt (and cousin) called me a weakling. well, i dont care, but ok :3. out of spite, i'm now playing the song below. im better now somehow. also maybe because my dad is out of here and i was already tired of hearing formula 1 or sport stuff. anyways, i also expect people to do stuff, which is a bit hypocritical.

the song "all american bitch - olivia rodrigo" is how im feeling right now (ó﹏ò｡)

im also mad because my watch told me yesterday that my sleep quality was bad and that i shall not stay up late. but im being enabled to do that by me and my family ( • ᴖ • ｡). maybe that's why i am so mad right now. i just want to be left alone.

''i don't get angry when i'm pissed, im the eternal optimist, i scream inside to deal with it, like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.................... all the time, im grateful all the time ₍^. .^₎Ⳋ ''

i kind of learned how to barely externalize anger towards others, and how to so minimazing how much they'd be hurt, even though im also, though i dont really get why or how, hurt. now, only my grandma is here and my non-grandpa. im still pissed off, but relieved. i just hope they are gone sooner by tomorrow. there's a thing called "social battery", and i like to be alone. so, now, a poem secretly directed to those who are inhabiting my place past my preferred time, will be shown to you.

leave me alone, go ahead.

i like talking with you,

i like being by your side,

but there are limits too.

my mind does slide.

when i dont say a word,

when my silence makes you bored,

there's no one to blame.

and i lost The Game.

i wont scream and shout,

no words will be loud,

but my mind will be mad,

and tearing me apart.

i will write and think,

i'll distance the tears,

and before you blink,

your words are shears.

i want to like you more,

i want to fly like a bird,

but leave my home before,

or else you’ll make me hurt.

leave me alone.

let my heart be red.

let my heart be stone.

please go ahead.

written by BluePuffin, 13th of August, 2025

this day was too much for me. i was, and i still am, tired, as of thursday. i guess, even though i'd like to never be mad, it's unavoidable. and sleepiness fed it. today, thursday, almost midnight, im all done to go sleep and feeling "better".

thank you for reading! have a nice day, but not before you sign this petition: https://www.amnesty.org/en/petition/release-dr-hussam-abu-safiya/

love to you,

💙BluePuffin💙 ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡