numbly helpless

 

hello, im bluepuffin!

 before i full on write how i've been feeling, i'd like to share a song that scratches a feeling in me, for some reason: Spring Into Summer by Lizzy McAlpine. (no, before any potato i know in real life gets to this blog, this ain't related to anyone you know xx).

the entry proper

 once upon a time, i wrote a letter to the Israeli Embassy begging them to hear my opinion (that killing people is bad and following international law is good). i was polite, respectful, and asked for a respectful reply. what i got? silence. here are the contents of the letter, in Portuguese: 

 feel free to zoom in. ask me for a translation, if needed.

 Gaza in ruins, and, the ambassador at the time, Dor Shapira, didn't send any reply. heck, i don't even know if he read it, nor anyone. i continuously asked the embassy on Messenger if they received my letter, and i was left with automated "we'll answer soon" messages. the letter was sent to the Embassy in Lisbon on the 8th of September of 2024, and i started asking for a reply or delivery confirmation repeatedly on October the 2nd, 2024. here's footage of them ignoring me:

 in a poetry book i'm yet to finish writing, i wrote a poem, in Portuguese, my mother tongue, dedicated to the ex-ambassador. i felt ignored and silenced. though the rhyme is lost, here's one of my favourite stanzas:

"you were once a link,
between Portugal and “the Holy Nation”,
but when I questioned the injustices,
I was ignored. not even fake letters." 

 the last verse was "a carta sequer viste?", which means "did you even see the letter?". i plan to use it as a slogan, and spread it around. stickers, shirts, everywhere. flooding the embassy's email. i'll do anything to get a reply!! sadly, while ww3 happens, and i eat watermelon and stare at Reels waiting for the exams, i feel like i cant start yet. however, when the exams end, and i have no classmates to worry about, i'll probably make it a movement. because i need a reply. urgently. conflicting opinions? okay, im here to dialogue respectfully, and, though you probably don't speak Portuguese, I'll just make sure that my letter had made that quite too clear.

 tragically, the new ambassador is worse, and very complicit in dehumanization. here's an interview Rádio Renascença had with him on the 3rd of June this year: https://rr.pt/especial/mundo/2025/06/03/falar-de-genocidio-na-faixa-de-gaza-e-uma-vergonha-diz-embaixador-de-israel/427846/. 

let me quote one sentence from the article: 

"Israel's ambassador in Lisbon says the war in the Gaza Strip will only end with the destruction of Hamas."

  Classic. This is the same as saying "starving people in Gaza is okay as long as Hamas exists" to me. Nothing justifies war. nothing. and i hope not to be afraid to confront the Israeli embassy's silencing towards me in the upcoming future. i genuinely feel so bad being comfy in my room while people struggle to eat, getting annoyed by my cat scratching my mom's bedroom door while knowing millions would do anything to be in my place.

 >> recently, Israeli tanks killed 45 people waiting for aid trucks in Gaza. if you are gonna read this article,be aware of the biased wording: https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/israeli-tank-shelling-kills-45-people-awaiting-aid-trucks-gaza-ministry-says-2025-06-17/

 anyways, a carta sequer viste?

 though ww3 is already ongoing, with the US pondering hopping on Israel's side to strike Iran, i still want peace. and, though i might not have a six pack or be picture perfect, i'm glad to care. maybe too much. anyways, i hope to care more and more, and im very worried. actually too much and i just want to SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM out my balcony. because almost no one in Portugal cares, or anywhere outside tragedy zones, in general. because they're not being affected by the tragedies, and i think that's ridiculous. xoxo

 bye sweeties, love you all,

 BluePuffin